Finding Your Way Back to Peace

The ups and downs have been sharp – I thought I had it figured out and then life slapped me down. Striving for a sense of satisfaction, a wholeness that I feel I deserve so im not hanging on a plateau, hanging on for dear life. Knowing within, that I am blessed and am not lacking, I had to dig a little deeper. Normally, I would simply dissociate and push down these feeling while stepping up and out of the tension in my body.

Breaking the Cycle of Dissociation

I started smoking pot when I was 13 years old. I had a ton of curiosity and a pound of anger and getting high was the perfect alchemy for my dominant air nature. It was a clear path to dissociation. My relationship with the plant lasted decades, I came to love it, despite true knowing that I was willfully abusing a plant medicine for the simple objective of not dealing with the struggle to maintain inner peace.

Various substances help us do that, to name a few, THC, caffine, nicotine, sugar and especially alcohol. Alcohol not only helps us dissociate from the tougher struggle happening within, it can invite other spirits to the party, creating confusion and sometimes total disconnect from the soul. 

Disassociation is a way of numbing or detaching from difficult emotions. While it may offer temporary relief, it ultimately hinders our growth and connection to inner peace.

Uniting with the soul

In my work as a healer, I see the body, emotions, mind and spirit in layers. The very core of the body, or the spine, is so advanced in it’s naturally healthy state it creates the perfect conditions to house the soul, the timeless, ageless, wisest part of you. A place of peace.

The emotional waves that we experience, are messages from our soul, reminding us that we may not be making the choices that are in alignment with what we have determined we would like to create. When we reunite with our soul and take full dominion over our body and energy layers, the unwanted spirit guests will eventually have to leave, but not before they cause havoc.

Judgment and Obstacles

Judgement, criticism, blame and frustration with our apparent enemies or designated sources of suffering, keep us from accessing the embodied sense of peace. They create separations and fractures that can become blocks within. Inhabiting these lower emotions and letting them root can create patterns that can continue to branch out, eventually having the potential to harm others.

They must be felt with and uprooted for true healing pathways to be cleared and that also happens in layers. The first step if hearing them, and offering them movement, truth, unity and compassion.

Path Back to Peace

Generally, exercise, creative activities, martial arts, singing, cleaning, gardening etc, all help us release the tough, sometimes locked in knots of thought and feeling and help us in our path back to the body, back to the core of peace. Accessing more unity, compassion, trust and calm knowing that our soul has healing energy ready for us to tune into.

More specifically, conscious choice of thought like gratitude, goal setting, believing in self and creating trust can produce some of the brain chemicals that induce new patterns in the cells of the body, activating the necessary ingredients to dealing with uncomfortable realities that cause us to dissociate in the first place.

Spiritual bypassing is not an option

Spiritual bypassing is using spiritual beliefs or practices to avoid dealing with difficult emotions or problems. It’s like putting a bandaid on a deeper wound. We can’t jump from pain to pleasure simply by ignoring the truth as it is and expect lasting results. Acknowledging the root cause (usually parental or ancestral) climbing back up the emotional scale step by step is a must. I like to integrate the pattern of admission, acceptance and appreciation (more on that later).

Personal Journey

Still, it’s a climb. Knowing this, I had to end my relationship with THC, the chemical in marijuana that kept me from dealing with tough personal issues. I continued consuming CBD, the chemical that helps the body open up stuck pathways that inhibit healthy flow, and was able to quit smoking ‘cold turkey’. However I did notice that I found other ways to disassociate, I began making cappuccinos every morning, diving into work and binging on TV shows that had actors portraying people who are completely disconnected from their compassion or sense of unity. I consciously knew that I was slowly coming back to the truth of my heart and soul, but I couldn’t get there fully without tapping into my discomfort and pain.

At first, my dreams returned immediately, which I knew would happen since this wasn’t my first time taking a break from the habit. The dreams were difficult and uncomfortable. They reminded me what I had been avoiding and sometimes I woke up crying or angry. Yet I returned to my practice  and to intentional gratitude in the waking world and moved on with my day, determined to anchor my sense of peace. 

Over time, the dreams became more lucid, and I have been gaining more and more choice within them. Discovering that even in the dream world, peace is still the path, despite all of the options and variety dreams offer.

Anchoring Peace

Its been 6 months, and I am the first to admit that I am not always a peace maker. That I practice daily and that is quite different now that I have committed to respecting plant medicine as just that – medicine. A good friend who is a prolific painter told me once, while we were smoking pot together. “Its a medicine, and like any medicine, you take it once to assist you to get better but you don’t keep taking it once you’ve healed”.

I respect even more now, completely sober people, I am not one of them, I have a drink from time to time and even so called sober people drink coffee and smoke nicotine. The need to dissociate is real because the world is heavy. Still, if we expect the sources of our suffering to change and heal and become better humans on the planet, then we must also do the same. 

Another Layer

Even if we already look in the mirror and see a good person. There is always another step on the path to peace. Another anchor into the heart of mother earth and another cloud in the sky that will be parted by the heart of the sun. Let’s walk in beauty to hold that balance for ourselves and for each other.

If you’re struggling with inner peace, know that you’re not alone. There is a path back to your core self, and I’m here to guide you on that journey. Together, we can create a life filled with authenticity and lasting peace.