The idea of blogging made me cringe, i’ve had my WordPress account open for over a decade!
What am I waiting for?
For years people had been telling me to “brand” myself through blogging. I resisted sort of subconsciously, it was a heavy judgement octopus that kept reaching it’s tentacles into my mind. Let’s see all the excuses I created for myself… “I have no interest in self promotion”, that was my dominant reason at the time all dressed up in shiny humility. Or how about, “No one is going to read what I have to say”, on the other end of the spectrum of humility with belief patterns of low self worth.
Here was my internal favorite, the one I never said out loud, “I hate being censored”.
This excuse was the most complicated for me to realize, meaning, it was not clear to me at that time, that the writing for my blogg was supposed to be authentic. That concept was still foggy to me, I was still figuring out how to present myself to the world as a whole image, the literal whole package. How will I wrap it? What is it supposed to look like compared to others? I had no interest in manicuring my words or my experiences for an audience at that time. It would have felt completely false and just blogging to do it, with out any clear goals or outcomes didn’t make sense to me so I dropped it.
So what changed for me?
First thing to change were my beliefs around how worthy I am to be heard.
I had removed myself from a toxic relationship and began to self heal while studying the many modalities found in the healing arts. The more I connected to my core source, the more confidence I experienced in my daily activites.
Second excuse to go was the ”I have no interest in self promotion”.
Now that I had stepped into my power, the benefit I presented to others became obvious over time. The more I connected to that power of helping others as being part of my purpose and goals, the more sense it made to me. So that lead to a realization that I wasn’t seeing with the transformative energies that were present in blogging and had actually been judging blogging as advertising which I actually despise 70% of the time (insert facepalm here).
Which leads us to the journey we are on today. To this day I still hate being censored. With all the ways to participate and share in social media, my feelings of needing to “watch what I said” for fear of being judged left me feeling self censored and passive. With the endless opportunities to communicate all staring at me and my silence was louder than ever. Blogging, I have come to realize will probably be my most authentic outlet for offering empowerment. I can write whatever I choose and do so with confidence that anyone who needs to read it, will. If readers relate to the journey I am presenting and take interest in following it, I will thank them. If they dis-approve or feel estranged by the words i may stir up in them… then I’ve done my job.
We are in one of the most pivotal and challenging times in our society. We must stay true to ourselves. Welcome to my blog that will hold me accountable to that virtue.